have you ever felt so guilt-ridden that sometimes it's so overwhelming that you feel like puking? let me warn you, don't ever get to that stage, cause i promise you, it's not a nice state to be in.

dishonest today was one thing, guilt cause i know it's important to me and it matters to me but i'm too fucking lazy to do it.

i mean, i know i've been too caught up in things i want to do and not things i need to do, but i can't help to lay back a bit-.

okay, i admit it: a lot.

and people have to be freaking nice about it! why am i never satisfied in what i have? happy sure, all the time, but satisfied? it's greed.

and i guess i need to do something about it, to actually bother and change this really bad problem of mine, before it actually becomes a habit.

sometimes perhaps what i need is a little faith, and a little more love around.

if i care for the people around me so much, why do i fail to give them what they deserve?

do i not care at all?
perhaps, perhaps i do, but just that i can't push myself so.

i got to really break this problem.

on a side note, after this post. i'm glad i'm beginning to able to use 'i' instead of 'you' or 'we.'
but i'm still censoring my words.
damn, damn, damn.